My life had changed my eyes had opened. I now know what makes life worth living, me .I'm happy because I am the only one who can control how I feel. No one but me. I am my own god I control what I do and what happens to me. I do things that I don't always think are right but I always try to justify them. But in the end my wrong actions will have the wrong affect and I will be punished. Not a lot of people stop and ask themselves What am I doing and should I do it. Too many people just do it and then ask why me after it comes back to slap them in the face, in some cases stab them in the back.

I don't need you in my life but I want you in my life. When should I say no? Shouldn't I know by now what to expect? Shouldn't you know by now, your just going to hurt me, why would you still try to do it? How can I step back and not repeat myself. My feeling for you are so strong I have trouble with which one I feel, love or just pure hate. It must not be to much hate if I'm able to love you with out ripping your head off. I don't think of you that much, mostly when you come around. I wish you didn't say you love me. I refuse to close my eyes and start walking towards what looks like a cliff. How could I ever justify anything I might do? I can't, other than to be selfish. I'm going to say if your ashamed to do something around some one it's probably a bad idea to do it. Judge me if you want I know I will.